If I lose myself, I lose it all

Posted by Raeanne Pemberton on

It's easy to get caught up in the craziness of life. So much responsibility, so many commitments. It is overwhelming sometimes. In the whirlwind of life, I let myself become a pawn of sorts. But why? When you take it all away, strip my 'life' of everything, what is left?

I am. That's it. Just me.

Why should I give so much of myself to so many things that aren't going to benefit me mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally? I'm not saying to forgo everyone in your life, I'm not saying that in the slightest. What I am saying is to evaluate why you do what you do.

Is it to gain the commendation and approval of others?

To be the peacekeeper?

To avoid confrontation?

To keep up with the status quo and appear 'normal'?

All of that energy for what? I want the energy that I put out there to come back to me. When I do a good deed for another human being, I get satisfaction out of it. Whether you admit it or not, we do get something out of it.

Giving energy to haters? No benefit to me.

Giving energy to hating others? No benefit to me.

Giving and giving of my time, resources, energy to people who do not respect or appreciate my giving? No benefit to me.

I want to use my energies wisely and for my success. I want to encourage others in their journey to success as well, but once I realize that the feeling is not mutual, I will give that back to you. No, I will not hate on you, but I will not waste my energy on you. Positivity and encouragement are foundational for success, and since that's my goal, anything to the contrary needs to be cut off.

I struggle with seeing certain physiques when watching lifting videos. I get jealous and antsy. Why? I shouldn't be wasting my energy on that. I struggle with comparing my lifts to others who lift more than me. I feel inadequate and failure sinks in. Why? Why do I allow that negativity to rob me of my hard earned successes? I need to cut it off, it is of no benefit to me.

In the end, I will have only me... my last breath will be taken with only me. Why let others, be it people or circumstances, rob me of myself?

If I lose myself, I lose it all.



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